Posted by: Nehalem | March 10, 2009

quiet acceptance

After years of isolation, I’ve stumbled through the Dead Sea of personal relationships which I’ve come to accept.  This swill originated from within, but I still can’t trace what caused me to do what I did so long ago.  Almost every day appears to reveal the same dire loneliness.  Moments of health leave me yearning for more, the temporary oasis for my soul.  The eternal mirage of to-be-accepted disappointment returns me to my sobering reality.  Recently I’ve been most thrown off by the lack of interest I’m able to generate about my life.

Everyone has contemplated the death of David Foster Wallace.  The literati all have their angles and stances about Wittgenstein, yada yada, as my best friend Andre says.  The bare truth was that D.F. Wallace was heartbroken, wrenched and gutted by the heartless women he dated in a recursive fashion.  The Golden Eternal Braid of Dumpster Divers, Hipsters, and Lunatic Women.

I know now living in this town why heroin proliferated and Elliot Smith killed himself.  The ladies invite new men over and everyone’s the weaker.  I’m weaker for wanting her;  she’s weaker for not allowing me to consumate.  This cycles and blossoms in many ways, for now it is almost morning, and I’m yet weaker for having not slept.  The meditation will erase it all.

5 o’clock in the morning and I still can’t let that day go.  I still reach for March 7, 2006, as a point to restart – a point to reboot.  Time travel, once again, via the veritable Dr. Brown.  I made a choice:  To go with my heart and not the pecuniary search for knowledge.  Now I’m letting it all bare;  a thanks goes to Jenny for her blog about embarassing one’s self.  I would never be able to write this level of rawness from within myself if it weren’t for her.

Posted by: Nehalem | September 6, 2008

The Catcher in the Rye?

Sometimes the delicacy of objects blows me away. About four years ago I purchased a second generation Mazda RX-7. This is the vehicle I’ve owned longest in my entire life and I’ve finally started to experience the joys of tuning it step-by-step whilst driving it everyday. Two upsetting matters since purchasing the car were a) the wipers only working on one-speed including a problematic stoppage where-ever the wiper was in it’s rotation and b) the A/C never being properly charged leading to discomfort and even-more-so inability to see out of the front windshield in compromised weather situations. After countless repairs and other modifications, I finally corrected these basic matters. This has highlighted, for me at least, the glaring change in one’s quality of life based on simple object changes.

Whilst the car was a 1986, manufactured December of 1985 in Japan, the Air Conditioning system still featured the now completely antiquated refrigerant R12. My choices to repair this car were to pay $200 including labor to some buffoon with a R12 License to recover the A/C’s operating abilities or convert the car to R134A, a refrigerant which is available in new cars and does not harm the environment upon unexpected release into the air. With the help of a friend’s father, Mr Marzzaco, we converted the system to R134A, vacuum-pumped a negative system pressure, injected system lubricating oil into the “low”‘ side of the system, injected 36-oz’s or 3 cans of R134A pressurized refrigerant, and all the while measured the pressure differentials delivered to the “low” and “high” side of the systems. All-in-all everything works wonderfully again.

While nothing is all that magical about these basic processes, the result in drive-ability of the car with wipers and A/C is enormous, qualitative and quite immeasurable per se. This was quite a simple repair all-in-all and it highlights to me how the most basic of items really change one’s life. These “basic” things are so often glossed over. When I started my business, a basic item for me was healthy food or even the concept of regular, small-to-moderately sized meals. These were luxuries for me. In their absence, sure I grew stronger, but its wonderful to have them back as it is now wonderful to have a functional car for inclement weather. I think if more people were stripped of conveniences for a burst, and then allowed their restoration, we’d live in a much healthier and respectful world.

Posted by: Nehalem | August 15, 2008

Connecting Ubuntu 8.04 to Microsoft SQL Server

While I won’t digress too far from the subject, I will say that I’m excited to finally be at the point in my life where I am stable enough to step back and reflect.  I’m greatly looking forward to this phase as I transition from a user of information to  a creator and editor of such things.

I had a lot of trouble getting my Ubuntu 8.04 LTS Hardy workstation to talk to my SQL Server.  Let me give a few details about the items involved here.  My workstation runs Ubuntu 8.04;  on the workstation I’m running VMware 6.04.  Inside VMware I have an image which is running Microsoft Enterprise Server 2003.  Ontop of this I’m running Microsoft SQL Server Enterprise 2005.  This information applies to you if you are within Ubuntu or any modern user-oriented Linux and trying to connect to any type of Microsoft SQL (MSSQL) Server;  my server just happens to be a VM on my workstation.  We’ll start by assuming you’re MSSQL is properly setup.

Now go into Synaptic Package Manager.  Search and install the following plus whatever requirements it prompts for:  a) iodbc   b) libiodbc2   c) libct3   d)  tdsodbc   e) unixodbc .  Now, you might have to reboot before this works;  I don’t think so but this took me a couple of occasions sporadically over two days so I can’t discount the necessity of a reboot.

Create a launcher shortcut for the iODBC interface.  The executable is located: /usr/bin/iodbcadm-gtk  .  Go into Terminal, which I believe is the Bash-Terminal by default in Ubuntu 8.04.

Goto home directory:  cd ~

Do:  sudo gedit .iodbc.ini

Contents of <.iodbc.ini>

[ODBC Data Sources]
ODBCdsn = ODBC Server
Driver      = /usr/lib/odbc/
Description = ODBC Server
Trace       = No
Servername  = ODBC
Database    =         {name of your database}
Driver = /usr/lib/odbc/

The iODBC is basically setup.  We now need to setup the FreeTDS driver which does the translation for communications purposes to MSSQL.

Do:  sudo gedit /etc/freetds/freetds.conf

Append to bottom of contents of <freetds.conf>

host =   {IP address of your database server}
port = 1433                      {Port of your database server}
tds version = 8.0              {Google:  FreeTDS if you are on a different version of MSSQL}

Startup the iODBC shortcut we created above.  Goto the User DSN tab.  Click test and authenticate with a valid username and password.  Everything should be working now.  Now that we’ve covered the basic setup, we can always add more options such as buffer length, timeout strings, etc.  All of the above can also be customized and renamed.  Simply make sure that the “ODBC” in “.odbc.ini” is the same as “ODBC” in “freetds.conf”, where you can change “ODBC” to whatever name you want provided the case-sensitive similarity is maintained between the two files.

So there it is.  Simple as a n00b needs it and powerful enough to be a base for power users.  Enjoy!